All About Renee Reyes
My Story: The BeautifulUgly Girl
answers to common questions:
Do you live full-time as a woman?
Yep - lived full-time as female for almost twenty years.
Tried everything not to transition...DRAG, invested ions in gender counseling, spent many years as a weekend-warrior, developed a large web presence...all in the name of attempting to survive my transgender leanings without transition. I always felt the optimal path for gender dysphasia was somewhere between two genders. Alas, I never found that path.
Still, I've never been happier since I completed my transition.
Getting there?
That wasn't fun-filled.
Do you intend to someday write a book about your life?
No, I don't.
Know its vogue to publish a book about a trans-journey. However, I personally have no interest in reliving my story through print.
Many parts of my journey were unhealthy and especially painful. I made many bad decisions: most are embarrassing to recall - let alone share with strangers. I also hurt people: including myself. Bottom line? I’m ashamed. Also? My heart was repeatedly broken into pieces. I struggled to survive with only the remaining shards to pump life and love through my body.
No sane person would re-live my story.
Struggled just revisiting memories creating this website. I was willing to do that - because I’m aware other transgender women are enduring tough obstacles. Hope my subsequent success inspires some to keep plugging away.
In order to succeed, I learned to ignore rear-view mirrors. Life’s too short to dwell upon the past: the good or the bad. I choose to remain fixated upon what’s situated directly in front of me.
I'm dedicated to making this site one of the best places for people to begin their transgender journey. It will always be free and accessible without registration - two essential components for shy transgender neophytes.
I certainly hope my sisters of the future reach their goals faster than yours truly. Such acceleration will most certainly result in better success. Considered myself a pioneer of sorts: moving rocks and impasses for future generations. However, I'm sick of stubbing my toe so often in that process. *Smile*
What are you like in real life?
My on-line persona is notably different from my daily reality.
I’m a rather private person. That often surprises people considering how out there I am with this web presence. However, I stick to a tight-knit group of close friends and rarely add anyone to that mix. Honestly? I don’t trust people I first encounter - less-so, on-line. Also, I lead a very “non-trans” life and I don’t mix trans-stuff into my daily functions unless absolutely necessary.
Aside from all that?
I stay very, very busy. Between my personal passion projects and business goals? I rarely piddle. I’ve got lots to accomplish during the remainder of my journey. The lifelong distraction of my gender issues plus my transition and the devastation it caused - took away many productive years.
I’m trying to make up for lost time!
If you’re into privacy: why publish this website?
I wrote and published the first version of ReneeReyes.com in the late 1990’s. It’s been up since and some people found it useful. Knew I needed to majorly update this site with better lessons and insights: just never found time.
A year ago, I faced a big health scare. As I reflected upon my life during the week I waited for potentially deadly test results? There was only one bit of unfinished business that bothered me: I failed to share all I learned and knew from my transgender struggles. Weird: that was my primary concern when facing death. Thus, when I received good news regarding my health? I made a commitment to complete this project. As we all share important lessons, the next generation of trans-women will leverage success more rapidly.
The side effects from transsexualism impacted every aspect of my existence for almost half a century. I’m forced to admit much of my lifespan is defined from being transgender. However, I’m over that! Now that I’m almost completely past trans-issues in my life? I’m just trying to get on with my life. I hope by that end my new accomplishments will turn the trans-aspect of my life journey into more of a footnote.
Other than this website, I’m almost completely disconnected from “trans-world”. My only remaining goal is to help finance important causes. We have many skilled activists and voices but few internal resources to fund their projects. If I can stay focused and accomplish my next goals? I think I can help bridge that gap.
Make sense?
We would like you to be a guest on our talk show
Sorry: I’m not into doing talk-shows and related interviews to discuss transgender topics. There’s lots of ladies in the trans community passionate about sharing important trans-issues with media portals. Everything I have to say regarding transgenderism? It’s at this website.
Thank you for respecting my privacy.
We would like you to write a monthly column at…
It took what felt like forever to finally complete an updated version of the key content at my website in 2006. It was a project I needed to share. However, it's not my life’s passion - just a byproduct of my personal journey.
You’re welcome to use my original articles at your media portal if you first get my permission and use my byline and copyright.
Thanks!
Are you available for dating men?
No - sorry - not into men. I’m lesbian.
Curious: what surgical procedures have you had done?
Are insinuating I'm not el naturale?
*Laugh* Yeah, right!
Had my share of feminization work. Lets face it: I was anything but "a natural" when it came to a gender-switch. Honestly? It's easier to tell 'ya what I haven't had done.
Let's see...
The nose is original, the teeth aren't veneered and the legs came standard.
The rest?
Lipstick & rouge, sweetie…lipstick & rouge...*Grin*
We would like to advertise on ReneeReyes.com
Sorry: I don’t accept advertisers. Like keeping my site devoid of distracting messages.
If you offer a service or product you believe should be including amongst my various listings? Send me a link with your information. If I think its comparable to other sites I recommend? I’ll consider adding yours within the appropriate heading.
How do your old male-friends deal with your transsexuality?
Good question.
Friends who knew me first as male vary in terms of their level of acceptance with my lifestyle. Also, I worked hard with several to help them better understand: "I'm okay" - and they're okay. Most are now completely comfortable. Others just say: "I'm your friend" - but steer clear of much direct association. A small few didn’t do well. Most are well past any issues now - it’s been over a decade since I transitioned.
Most straight males' first inclination is to ponder...is he/'she now attracted to me? That's a fairly normal question - from a straight male. I work hard to teach them that friends - are just that. I never had sexual thoughts about my acquaintances before I openly embraced my transsexuality - and I sure don't now. *Smile*
You seem fairly balanced with all this. What's your secret?
Some of you think I've got this t-crap figured out. Think again. I'm as lost as anyone. In fact, most people would agree that we teach best...what we most need to know. If that's true? My website is proof of the pudding I'm bringing up the rear of the class. So don't ya'll leave me behind! *Smile*
There's one principle in which I'm a strong believer: one of the most important components of the human experience here on the 3rd Rock is contribution. Since I've no clue on the solution to world peace and I'm leaving the cure for cancer to some passionate soul buried in a cubicle at Johns Hopkins - I tried to fulfill this earthly duty by offering tips on trans stuff. It's not much but it helped me feel complete.
I'm visiting Atlanta soon. Can we go out-on-the town together?
A lot of fun people visit Atlanta on business or pleasure. It's a lovely city and I'm proud to call it home. You'll also find it to be one of the most t-friendly metropolises in America. Of course, we serve as host city to the nation's largest annual gathering of transgenders - SCC (Southern Comfort Conference). That's special.
Unfortunately, between my work and my everyday lifestyle, I find it difficult to even connect with my closest friends socially. I rarely go night-clubbing anymore and almost never on a weekday.
We have much in common, Renee. I'd love to get to know you much better. How about if we exchange some emails and become good friends?
This sort of letter is challenging for me to say "no". I always enjoy getting to know people that share my interests. However, I just don't have time to build more on-line friendships. I'm saddened when people take offense to my inability to develop new email associations. Perhaps some day I'll have more free time.
My on-line life is an important segment of my happiness but it's only one small part. ((hugs))
You're "beautiful"...
Although I appreciate a well placed compliment as much as the next girl, I've no delusions about being beautiful. I've got more flaws than a third world country's bill of rights. Believe me, I know where every one of those bones are buried.
I'll never be comfortable with such comments. On a good hair night? I pull off a decent presentation. However, I gave up on the whole beautiful thing long ago. I found it was a lot like trying to win the rat race. Even if you win? You're still a rat.
Do you enjoy being a transgender?
Of course.
I love myself - and that love includes all of me. I would hope I'd love myself no matter what my race, creed, sexual orientation - or gender identity.
Besides, if I don't love me? How could I ever expect anyone else to? It's actually not too hard...I'm fairly lovable. *Grin*
Who takes your photos?
I do.
I once tried getting friends to shoot pictures but it was nearly impossible to schedule. Thus, I'm a point-the-lens...set-the-timer...jump-in-front of the camera...and say cheese type of model.
Glamorous, huh?
Never had a professional shoot. It's on my to-do list: right below sleeping with a couple of Hollywood's leading men.
What are your personal passions?
I love art collecting. My favorite style is expressionism: the more bizarre? The better. Also, I usually find renderings of human beings more intriguing than landscapes or inanimate objects. Art collecting isn't just a hobby - it's a passion.
I’m a fan and participant in Cosplay. I’m lucky enough to live in Atlanta - where there’s a Cosplay gathering of some sort almost every month.
I’m a fashion addict. The only thing I love more than my closets is wearing what’s in them. :)
Finally, I'm a magician and someday launching my new comedy magic act called DRAMAGIC. Very excited to bring this life-long dream to fruition.
Other Common Questions and Answers
Got a personal question you’d like to ask? Perhaps you want to know what I do for a living or exactly how I arrived in my new gender. You might be wondering what I’m really like? Better skip that last query - even I don’t have a clue. *Laugh*
- Where Live: Atlanta, GA
Where From Originally: Owensboro, Kentucky. The home of beautiful horses and very fast women!
Age: Ha! Yeah, Right. *Grin* Just teasing...I'm fairly comfortable with my age.
Birthday: June 3, 1961...you do the math
Height: 5’8: workable for my new gender. However, I usually wear heels of at least 3”: I love being a tall chick!
Weight: 170 lb...and fairly fit. Oh, give me a break - played football. I'll never be dainty.
Eyes: Blue
Hair Color: Changes with the wind and the season. Whatever...*Laugh*
Where did your name "Renee" come from? Lots of people are aware that the derivation of “Renee” means: re-born which is one reason I adopted this moniker. My birth name was actually “Rayvon” - which was somewhat androgynous and thus, I was able to keep it during transition. I go by "Renee"...but respond to most anything. *Smile*
Astrological Sign: Gemini - The Twins! (Big surprise, huh?)
Do You have Children? No...definitely my greatest regret in life. Had a handful of children as a part of my life through other families. I also directly mentored & help “raise” ten different transgender girls through their gender transition. Always wanted kids of my own - just never worked out.
Most Influential Person in my Life: My mother
Favorite Quote: "Life works out best, for those who make the best - out of how things work out"
Favorite Type of Person: I appreciate a positive attitude & good sense of humor. I tend to connect best with people of higher intelligence but find everybody owns particular gifts. I admire compassion & a sense of personal passion.
People I Tend to Dislike: Don't encounter many people I can't find a reason to enjoy. However, I get testy if I encounter signs of racism, bigotry or bullying.
Favorite Meal: This is kinda' twisted but my 'fave "meal"? It’s a tasty vanilla latte. I drink way too much coffee.
Favorite Desert: If its chocolate? It's probably on my beloved desert list. *Grin*
Foods I Dislike: Okra, cooked asparagus, zucchini, squash...and a couple of other vegetables that sound strange when pronounced. I like all of them raw - just not a fan of many cooked veggies. Weird, huh?
My Passions: Fashion - the scope of my wardrobe is scary; helping others succeed in their alternative gender experience, Cosplay, art collecting, and always trying to put a positive face on transgenderism.
Favorite Author: Myself! Alas, I'm still waiting for the New York Times to let me know I've got a best seller...
Favorite Book: Margery Williams “The Velveteen Rabbit". Second place? “I Went to the Animal Fair”” by Heather Harpham. Both books had a profound influence on particular aspects of my life journey.
Favorite Actor: Jack Nicholson-in almost every role he plays!
Favorite Actress: Sophia Loren - enough said.
Favorite Artist: Joseph Mallord William Turner...adore his luminous works at the Frick in New York city. Anybody got a spare Turner they want to loan me? *Grin*
Favorite Type of Art: Pieces which vividly represent the human experience. I consider representations of "living" - to be the highest form of artistic expression. I'm also a sucker for the use of the color red in a piece of art. Want to know why? Me either...*Laugh*
Best Feature: My friendly attitude. Unfortunately, I don’t have any especially alluring physical features.
Most Distinguishing Feature: My blue eyes - melt you or scare 'ya to death - depending upon my mood.
Favorite Fetish: "Hair" - the bigger the better. What can I say - I'm an 80's girl. Belts run a very close second...break into a sweat around killer belts. Shoes & purses tie for third.
Favorite Music: Whew! That's tough. I run the gamut with musical interests. Pop, Jazz, Country, Classical - to me, great music, is just that - regardless of style or artist. However...if you flip on the radio in my car? It'll probably be tuned to a country station. What else would you expect from a gal that grew up in a small town in Kentucky? *Smile*